Hey everybody!

Friends or not, I wish you all a merry christmas and a lots of presents!
And also a happy new year and don't drink to much!

Somehow I'm very excited about this two events and I can't wait any longer! But at the same time I feel so depressed, don't know why, pherhaps because I spent all my money on presents -.-

And i would like to have a WHITE christmas eve, but snow started melting today! Life is so unfair, couldn't it last 3 days longer?
But as soon as there's snow I will make a photoshooting with my little cat *evil smile* I have little white wings and my little small cat will look soooo cute with them! I hope my brother borrows me his very expensive camera so the pics will look even more great! <3

Enjoy yourself and relax - a new year is coming and it will be better than the past!

Any Idea???

I wonder what would happen if something terrible happens. If my boyfriend would break up again, or if I can't get positive grades at university.... or if I just want to get drunk and dance until I'm dead???

I watched lipstick jungle yesterday - and I love it - and in the end one of the girls is really depressed and the others cheer her up and drink with her some alcohol to get over it - I have no one to do that with! I'm not going out often, I don't tell with anyother one than my boyfriend or my family - I miss some really really good friend und do something with me and yeah... I wonder if there's anybody out there waiting for me...

And yeah I know i have friends and family who loves me and all this... but i know how it is to be loved by a really good friend with whom I can talk about everything... and I miss this feeling so much....

and it doesn't look like I will find one at university (as I wished until today)

hi everyone who reads this and also to those who won't read it!

do you know this feeling, when you want to be creative but you have no idea and no time or both? University has started and we do and see a lot of creative stuff - but I just started so we do only beginner-things and they are not so interesting...

and everybody there's soooo creative and their drawings and paintings are soooo great! I feel like a total loser! Everybody gots more talent than me or has more training than me! Oh and this is a private university and EVERYBODY can afford the costs of it without a problem - my mother is getting on my nerves "Oh I can't buy this the university is sooo expansive - I have to save the money..."
and I'm even looking for a job - I don't think I have ever looked for a job that much! but nooooo... nobody wants me...

and my ex-schoolmate is studying the same thing as me and i hate her -.-
she always says "my parents and I have no money" but then she spends a really enormous amount of money on things which aren't neccesary at the time. But hey, she has no money, but new shoes, a new bag, she can afford the costs of the university, she gets a car, she can afford this car, she buys a new apple laptop....
I WANT TO BE THAT POOR TO! when this means "I have no money" I think I should say something else than "i have no money"...

Yeah I wallow in self-pity at the moment....

but there are also some good things these days too!
My cute little apple-laptop is coming!!!! (I know I have no money, just as i said. all my saved money leaves me with every step my laptop is nearer to me....). the next week or so it will arrive and I'm looking for a cute little big for my cute little laptop and pherhaps a transparency film make it look even more cute.... *dream*


and my (ex-)boyfriend is such an idiot - he let me suffer 5 days just to start a new relationship with me! yeah... he's really an idiot...

My boyfriend just broke up with me... I'm so sad. Hey I hate this fucking life sooo much!
Could anybody give me a hug?